Halloween is quickly approaching and I’ve been binge watching horror movies on Netflix to celebrate. The nice folks over at Man Crates (a company that ships awesome gifts in crates that you have to open with a crowbar) recently asked me what I’d put in my horror movie survival kit, and thanks to my marathon movie watching, I had a few ideas on hand.
If I’m fighting zombies, I’m clearly going to need something to cause blunt trauma – a shovel, billy club, baseball bat, etc. I’m leaning toward the baseball bat, though. They’re built tough and fit the hand nicely.
For run-of-the mill, chainsaw wielding serial killers, a shotgun and ammo is always nice to have on hand. You want a bit of distance between you and the psycho murderer, so anything that requires you to get in close is out of the question.
Last but not least, you need something for your supernatural foes. A silver cross, stake, and a super soaker full of holy water should do the trick.
And even if it doesn’t do you any real good, a katana always looks super cool.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from nature, it’s that you need to blend in when being hunted by a predator. To disappear into forest foliage when being chased by a Jason-like-killer, green camo clothing is a must. Fitting in with a zombie hoard is a bit harder, but a little dirt, zombie blood, and a convincing, shuffling gait will go a long way.
I’m pretty sure you can’t hide from vampires, though…
Things to Keep You Alive
Food and fresh water are kind of a no brainer. A canteen, water source, collapsible pot, and ferro rod fire starter will ensure that you always have clean drinking water.
Food’s a little trickier when you’re on the run. My husband recently stumbled across Soylent, which although expensive, would be badass in a survival situation. I’m pretty sure it’s not made of people, but don’t quote me on it.
As a woman that frequently finds herself in the wrong shoes for the occasion, a good pair of running shoes is a requirement for getting away from the bad guys.
And to keep all this stuff together, a backpack would come in real handy.
In the end, I’m not overly worried about surviving a horror movie – because, like Santa Clause, they’re not real. If they were, this survival kit of mine would be completely useless. I’d totally be the first person to die.