“If you are reading this, you are blissfully unaware of what’s creeping up behind you…”
Managed to find a picture of one of those monsters...
November 1, 2012
It’s so late, and I am so tired, but I can’t sleep… I can’t let myself rest even for a moment because if I fall asleep I’m guaranteed to be one dead woman.
…or worse than dead.
I’ve got to go easy on my provisions, since I’ve barricaded myself into my house, I’m down to precious few provisions… thankfully the water still works, but I have no heat, no electricity, and the food is getting scarce. I stare out the window at my apple tree just 30 yards away, but a dash to that tree for a sweet, overripe apple would be a dash to my death. It’s starting to resemble a mousetrap in my head.
No matter… they’ll be back for me soon enough.
As I write this, I’m seriously angry at myself… all of those blog posts about crafts, all of that time I spent writing about Halloween preparations. It’s so ironic that I would spend hours and years devoted to helping all of us out by writing about “preparing” for Halloween, when the only thing I really needed to prepare for was my own demise.
Quite frankly, I’m surprised I lasted this long. I spent so much time reading about this zombie-themed party or that witches ball, that I forgot that not all of this stuff is about holiday fun…maybe I just wanted to forget? I don’t know why or how I managed, but I know I forgot the cardinal rule of anyone who understands the dark undertow that exists around Halloween…
You want a Halloween expert? Well, you got one, and if you want to live, you’ll pay attention. All of those news reports of zombie attacks? Well, those aren’t just coincidences, those are real. The stories about the vampires? Real, too. You’re probably laughing, thinking this is just another silly prank. Let me assure you, with my last dying breath, that it is not.
It all happened so fast…I can hardly believe it. I can’t believe I was just happily making cookies with my grandkids last week. No matter, they are all gone, too. My heart aches. If only I’d listened…if only I’d shared what I knew, what I really knew in my soul about Halloween. I’d always joked that I’d be one of the last survivors should the invasion start…oh, how horrific that I was right. How will I ever forgive myself for not protecting so many innocents when I had the ability to tell them the truth!? This isn’t some silly holiday about candy and pumpkins…so many lies that we tell the kids… no, that we tell ourselves so we can sleep at night.
Oh those poor people! I can see them now… running around to Halloween galas in their silly costumes…all of those men dressed as vampires and werewolves, those women in useless sexy pinup outfits, the nurse, the French maid…that stunning woman I saw in the Cleopatra costume.… they are all gone now…lying dead, or dying in the streets, or worse already transformed and attacking the few of us that are left. I shudder to think about their eyes, so black, without life, without souls, doomed, lusting only for more death….yours, and mine.
There’s no time for regret or mourning now… I think I can hear them scraping at my bedroom door…
so please, please if there’s one thing that all of you can learn from me, from this… don’t get sucked into the holiday insanity… I can’t believe I fell for it! And I knew the truth!
I just so desperately wanted it to be over, but I knew it was coming again… all of this holiday stuff? Oh God! It’s just a ruse! I discovered it years ago, the people who manufacture the holiday goods–candy, costumes, decorations–they are the only people who survive….really, the only people who ever survive….
It’s ironic that I knew the truth the whole time and ended up peddling their wares, too. They aren’t doing to make money, or to have fun…they are doing it to distract you from the truth. I call them the Candy Men….humans that use other humans in order to survive. They trick you into thinking Halloween is all fun and games, and they’ve won…they’re safe.
You see, once distracted, you make easy targets…you, my friends, are the bait.
They knew this would happen…they saw it coming…they preyed on all of your hedonistic impulses–food, drinks, parties–if any of you are out there, please for the love of god, don’t be like me, don’t fall into the trap… arm yourselves to the teeth, get your all of your gear ready, and run like hell to any barricaded hole you can find… I’m so sorry! I’m sorry!
The invasion has started, and there’s nothing more I can do to help you. They’re coming for me, too. I know I’m going to die, but I’m taking a few of them with me… and hopefully someone out there will read this and be spared my fate….
R.I.P. Emma Rae Curtis…Emma Rae was a costume and Halloween expert. She will be missed. She mainly wrote about Halloween but also about all things costume and dress-up related. This final blog post was one of her signature pranks… please do not be alarmed, and continue with your Halloween fun!
